Saturday, October 2, 2004

She Masterbates In The Car

no pretense of significance ..


Companies used: Alitalia (AL) and Brussels Airlines (SN) (2 times each in the early morning and late afternoon)

Price:
SN: 60 and 90 Euro
AL: 110 and 160 Euro

Express
SN: with e-tickets directly to check in (at 6 am there are already open to Malpensa 3), very polite, asking where I sit, if I want a sandwich with cheese or ham, I wish you a pleasant journey. They want to see my hand luggage, I weigh and monitor the measures to ensure that we will stay in the lockers of the aircraft.
TO: E-tickets must be first converted into a business 'true' at the counter Alitalia (With relevant row) then check in with a long row which saw both LHR and in Brussels are open only two desks. No one asks where I want to sit down, and when I ask the corridor, told me that there are no more seats (one hour before departure). No control of hand luggage.

Boarding (like c ** is called in Italian? Boarding? Escapes me ..)
SN: both times starting the procedure before the boarding on the ticket, and if it were not for two men (Italian) very important, arriving very late, everyone would already be on the plane 20 minutes before the announced departure. Since nobody has oversized baggage, you enter the aircraft business and also the last place in the closets to find their bags.
AL: No sign of boarding even 15 minutes after the time indicated on the ticket. For the flight of 6.30 in the morning to 6:29 comes an announcement that there is a delay of 15 minutes, no more will be announced at the end of 35 minutes to start. Ascent traumatic plane as each passenger is provided with the second trolley bags and oversized that there are anywhere, and are left on the floor waiting for the passenger systems.

the post:
SN: plane to approximately 65% full, set well distributed with almost all places in the ranks Median 3-free, and the last (Noisiest) files do not take
AL: Air 100% full type cattle car with even the most unlucky people packed well (there's a perverse pleasure in putting people in places closer fatter, I think to check We are in the collection points on how many pounds can memorize over 100 seats in the handicapped and close together in rows to 2).

Maintenance Air:
SN: no particular observation, it seems everything clean and working, the chairs are perhaps a little smashed.
AL: deafening noise in the back rows, faint smell of fried eggs (?) Before leaving and unbearable heat of freezing to share. Several backs of the chairs are still not in a horizontal position. Severely stained carpet. General air of decay.

Bathrooms:
SN: no specific submission, clean, odorless
AL: does not lock the door, the light is low, the smell of urine and other things, lack of soap and when you try to take a paper towel, they are all out.

Food and other amenities:
SN: is at 7 in the morning and late afternoon are served a snack consisting of light or dark bread (your choice), butter, cheese or ham, pickles, candy. To drink there are several juice, coca cola, fanta, water, tonic water, coffee, tea (the last very disgusting). My request for an artificial sweetener is promptly answered. At the end of the trip are the chocolates. Newspapers in several languages, including Corriere della Sera and Repubblica.
AL: "snack" is at 7 am to 6 pm: minibustina choice of snacks and biscuits minibustina (the same Eurostar, with 3 snacks / cookies for instance). Drinks available: smooth and sparkling water, orange juice and coke. At 7am, no coffee or tea. At 6 o'clock in the evening, but finished the milk and the sweetener is not anyway. When asked to read something to tell me it was an "Il Giornale" that decline thanks.

attitude of the staff wheel:
SN: polite, unobtrusive, no particular attitude. Women of a certain age but handsome, boys generally very gay and very cool. Announcements in English, Italian, French and Dutch.
AL: Scazzi and general arrogance. Any request and meets demand looks like, "We just needed this," the capocabina walking up and down the rows to haul passengers contrary to a rule (in my row I have to peck cazziatone first because my back does not is straight, and even when I prove that it does not work tells me that I should say immediately before departure .. I wonder why, since the plane is, however, III & IV, and then I realized only when the force dell'acellerazione crushed me back ... vabbeh. Then the man next to me, three minutes after the announcement that we are landing has not yet turned off his computer because he did not hear the announcement, which is the first extended question as Abrupt ever again is using the computer, and then the dark threat that ultimately puts us ALL in danger with his irresponsible attitude that has previously already cause several serious accidents. iiiiiiiihhhhhh all the hands that go to the balls ... ..) Very opinionated tone of any communication, wasted faces, women are generally quite young, but very low on average and rather ugly, make-up, tight little uniforms. Males do cool but I'm too stressed to be credible. No announcement from the captain about where we are or how long, no excuse for the delay. Ads a must in Italian Romanesque and broken English.

Delays:
SN: anyone with even the second time we landed 10 minutes early
AL: both times over 30 minutes


There would be more, but enough for now. Usually I avoid the strike by Alitalia flight, so do not know if it's always like that, but I certainly wonder why their flights costing twice as many others, provide a service much worse, yet they are strappieni. Mah

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